TJ's Vanilla-flavored Coconut Milk Non-Dairy Beverage

I'm still trying to find a milk alternative I really like. My criteria for the perfect milk alternative are: it has to taste good alone, mixed with hot coffee, and on cereal. Ideally, it will also be a good source of protein and calcium, and low in fat and sugar. As you may know if you've been following along my quest, I've tried and reviewed soy, almond, rice, and hemp milks. I've also tried oat and hazelnut milks. While none of these were *terrible* and many had notably good qualities, none quite met all of my criteria, either. So... I'd been wanting to try a coconut milk for a while, preferably vanilla flavored, but it's still not super widely available in stores. This is another product I really wanted to like.

Appearance: It's really bright white - whiter than dairy milk. As you pour, it seems like a similar consistency to dairy milk.

Taste: Wow. This stuff is weird. The flavors are really strong and really separate. I was hoping for a harmoniously blended, creamy vanilla-coconut flavor. Instead, I got: Vanilla. Sugar. Coconut. Chalk. I tried it on my corn-based cereal this morning, which has a pretty distinct flavor, but the coconut milk's flavor was so overpowering that I couldn't taste the cereal. I had to dilute it with some dairy milk just to be able to finish it. If the weird flavors hadn't been so strong, it might have been tolerable.

Mouth-feel: This was just as weird and disconcerting as the flavor. It was simultaneously watery and creamy.

Nutrition: 90 calories, 5 g saturated fat, 1 g protein, 7 g sugar, and 100 mg (about 10% RDA) calcium per 8 ounce serving. I'm not super impressed by those numbers. They've also added vitamins A, D, & B-12; folic acid; magnesium; selenium; iron; and zinc -- all of which are nice.

Overall: Really disappointing. I've tried a few frozen coconut milk desserts and vanilla coconut yogurt and really liked them, so I am very surprised by this. I really don't like giving bad reviews to any vegetarian product, but I don't recommend this one. I thought it was pretty awful. Maybe there's a better brand out there? I hope...?

Allergens: Coconut, "natural flavors"
Ingredients of concern: Carrageenan, "natural flavors"
Vegan